If I Weren't a Shinobi
by CantarellaKisses
Summary: Shinobi can't fall in love. What if they weren't shinobi? NejixTen angsty romance. Can be read as a sequel to Ideal Shinobi or on its own.


**If I Weren't a Shinobi**

Summary: Shinobi don't fall in love. What if they weren't shinobi in the first place? Can be viewed as a sequel to Ideal Shinobi.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I don't own "The Beauty Song." That claim lays to whoever wrote it, but I got the idea from when it was used in House of Flying Daggers.

Yes, more NejixTenTen. Because, as I have said in my profile, they are the freaking shiz. Again, more angst. But there's kissing this time! Everyone should realize just by the title there will be some OOCness.

* * *

There are times when even great shinobi like TenTen and Hyuuga Neji allow themselves to wonder. Times when they lie awake at night after a particularly disturbing mission because their body is close to being considered dead, but their mind hasn't quite caught on to that. 

They wonder about many things; if I had thrown that kunai at a slightly different angle…if I hadn't activated the Byakugan right at that moment…if my teammate hadn't been there to warn me…if I hadn't had enough chakra…

But mostly they wonder; what if I weren't a shinobi?

And even if they are miles away from each other in separate houses in separate rooms in separate beds, their thoughts will turn towards the other.

* * *

ANBU is a demanding career choice. Often viewed as the most difficult (aside from mentoring Naruto, most still can't believe Kakashi and Jiraiya are alive), it requires immense strength of body and mind, and for the employee to spend indeterminate amounts of time far away from home and constantly in danger. But those who rise to the challenge and bear the deceptively humble tattoo are already considered amazing in their own right; it's not every day you become a specialized assassin. 

However, no one was surprised when Hyuuga Neji became an Elite Squad Captain and led his team through many dangerous missions with a level of skill envied by many an Akatsuki member. It also goes without mentioning that he had a successful mission rate of almost ninety percent.

And no one was surprised when TenTen became the resident ANBU Weapons Specialist. With accuracy, drive, and an arsenal of everything life-threatening, she was the perfect shinobi for the job. And since she was an exceptional tracker and efficient in all her tasks, she was sent out on many missions—including many with Hyuuga Neji as her captain. No one was surprised, though; after all, they did work well together, seeing as they'd spent eight years on the same team.

* * *

Some nights, TenTen and Neji will sigh and sit up on their futons, rustling the sheets softly before getting to their feet and padding to a dark corner of their rooms. In it are shelves; shelves with greaves, black pants and a top, white pieces of armor, and a personalized mask. 

Neji will look at his mask—a hawk—and breathe out slowly through his nose as he holds it in his hands. He thinks it ironic that his mask is a bird that is one of the wildest when he's still trapped here by his bloodline like a caged animal.

TenTen will look at her mask—a dragon—and sigh softly as she runs her fingers over the smooth planes. She knows that her signature move, _Soshoryu_, is the reason behind the mask, but she can't help feeling that the dragon is too hostile of an animal for her.

They both wish sometimes that they could know what it was like to not be a shinobi, to be able to stop kidding themselves, even for a moment.

* * *

When TenTen and Neji were informed that they were to carry out a mission together, they weren't all that surprised. Granted, it was uncommon for just the two of them to complete a given mission, but sometimes that was all it took. 

The idea was for Neji to use his Byakugan and speed to cover TenTen's back while she assassinated an Akatsuki wannabe in a relatively weak village three days away. According to Tsunade, this would ensure peace with said village, and hopefully, encourage other villages to follow and form a treaty with Konoha.

The two set out that evening; bags packed, weapons packed, bedrolls secure, rations stored, and uniforms in place. They left discreetly and pumped chakra into their calves and feet—propelling themselves along at moderately fast pace to make good time and save energy.

* * *

Sometimes TenTen will look discreetly at her former teammate on their way back from a mission. She will remember what he looked like as they sparred in a time that seemed so far in the past. She will remember the ferocity and drive in his gaze and wonder briefly what that would look like if the same intensity were directed at her. She will then tell herself to stop being ridiculous and proceed in polishing her many weapons as to make herself forget she ever thought such a un-shinobi-like thought. 

Unbeknownst to TenTen, Neji sometimes subtly activates his Byakugan during his shift to guard the camp as his squad sleeps. He uses it to scan the surrounding area as he should, but he can't help lingering on TenTen's slumbering form in her tent as he sweeps around in a circle. Can't help but admire her hair splaying across her pillow and her hands tucked beneath it; most likely clutching a knife. He'll find himself briefly wondering what she would like look if she were to wake up in his bed for the rest of her life, then quickly dismisses the notion with a silent scoff and returns to glaring at the surrounding foliage; pretending he never thought such a thing.

* * *

Nothing is said until the sun begins to rise the next morning. TenTen turns to her partner and says that they should set up camp until the evening now; her voice slightly muffled behind the material of her mask. Neji nods and scans the area for a remote clearing. 

After selecting one, they set up camp. TenTen pulls out some cold soba noodles and gives Neji his share before setting up their tents between two thick tree trunks. They remove their masks to eat and exchange a few words; mostly about the game plan and backup strategies.

While they eat, they both sneak glances at each other. Neji admires how TenTen's face has narrowed, matching her eyes, and how the uniform is actually very flattering to her athletic figure.TenTen can't help but notice that Neji looks ridiculously good in his uniform. She also can't help but notice that his hair is as lustrous as she remembers and his jaw is even more masculine since their Chuunin days.

Neji volunteers to take first watch and TenTen nods, telling him to wake her up in six hours before telling him good morning and retiring to her sleeping roll. She undoes her buns and is asleep within minutes.

* * *

Neji was approached by his uncle several times over the last few years about his marital situation. Hiashi is aggravated with his nephew because he is twenty-two and has yet to even ask a girl on a date. He tells his nephew that it is all well and fine that he has been an ANBU member for three years, but some things are more important, like continuing the Byakugan. Neji knows his uncle doesn't care whether he loves the woman he chooses or not, only that he produces children. He knows he shouldn't either; he is a shinobi after all and can't much be bothered with the complex repercussions that come with falling in love. Still, he can't help but secretly associate TenTen's face with this "Mystery Bride" every time his uncle broaches the subject. 

TenTen has no immediate family or clan to belong to, so marriage and childbirth have never been brought up to her. She has no bloodline limit either, so nothing will be lost or missed if she never has any children. It doesn't change the fact that there are times when she is lonely because she knows that there is no one out there that would be too torn up if she were to suddenly die or spend the rest of her life a spinster. She tries to tell herself she doesn't feel this way and that she doesn't secretly imagine herself and Neji sitting next to each other on a park bench whenever she sees a brown-haired child playing on the swing sets.

* * *

After TenTen completes her shift, she and Neji quickly pack up and leave no traces of their ever being there before starting off again. As they get further from Konoha, they mask their chakras as a precaution. They both notice how strange it is to not sense the other, even though this has happened hundreds of times. They suppose it is because they are both so used to the…comforting presence of the other. 

The next morning and the morning after that are no different. They reach their destination shortly before midnight on the fourth night and change behind bushes into civilian clothes outside the village's perimeter. TenTen is adorned in a long kimono of pale lavender with a darker obi and a pattern of golden koi fish at the hem and sleeves. Neji wears a slightly altered version of his Hyuuga robes in order to blend with the villagers. His eyes are now brown, to match his hair, thanks to a well-done genjutsu. They dust off their packs and stash their tents within bushes while shoving their uniforms beneath all their other clothes and necessities.

They approach the village gates cautiously, and TenTen pretends that she is shy and easily surprised as some worn guards approach them. Neji tells them in a humble voice that he and his wife Suki were traveling to visit his sister and decided to rest here a few nights on the way back. Suki and Yami are eyed suspiciously and checked for weapons (TenTen inwardly smirks; she has very clever hiding places upon her body and in her clothes that have yet to be discovered), then presumed safe and allowed inside the stone and wooden walls.

They check into an inn Tsunade specified and are directed to the one-room suite they are to share. Their luggage is placed in a small walk-in closet and they each change into sleeping yukatas behind their own screens. They know they will have to share a bed to solidify the charade, and stuttering and shyness will only make it awkward; so when they step out from behind their screens, they each simply lay down on the side closest to them, bid the other goodnight, and close their eyes.

* * *

Neji turns over quietly when he is sure TenTen is asleep. She lies on her side, her back to him so she can watch the door. Hear head is pillowed on her folded hands, and he is pretty certain he saw her tuck a couple senbon into her palm before lying down. Her knees are bent only slightly, making elegant patterns in the comforter they share. Her dark hair has remained the same length since their Chuunin days; the tips brushing against the bottom of her shoulder blades. The strands are wavy from being wound up in buns all day. If he wasn't a shinobi, Neji thinks he would like to reach over and run his fingers through them [again. (A/N: this is a reference to "Ideal Shinobi") 

TenTen made a mental note of the way Neji laid down when they went to bed. He lays on his side, knees slightly bent and shoulders straight. He bends one arm up under his head so his temple rests against his elbow while the other simply lies in front of his chest. She wants to turn over and watch him sleep, but she knows he'll feel her eyes upon him. She only contents herself with the image of his dark brown hair trailing down, unbound, over the pillow and over his shoulders, brushing against the comforter that they're sharing. If she wasn't a shinobi, TenTen likes to think she wouldn't feel any shame if she were to roll over and run her fingers over the muscles in his back.

* * *

The next day the pair wakes up and goes about their usual morning routines quickly before exiting the inn and walking along the cobbled streets, pretending to sight-see. The village is small, but clean and full of seemingly-friendly people. They are scouting for their target; keeping an eye out for what Tsunade described as "Another damn hentai" (this was followed by her muttering darkly about toads and books). 

It wasn't long before they knew why he was described by Tsunade as such. Neji steered TenTen away from a street corner where she was talking with another woman after he saw a man in a black robe eyeing her lecherously, katana at his hip. He was tall but built thickly, and obviously didn't give much thought to personal hygiene; he had substantial stubble adorning his face and lank, greasy black hair.

"That one," he told her. But he was positive she had already known. She _was_ TenTen.

"I know. I think you should take a break, husband. Go have a few drinks and talk with other men tonight. Just promise me not to go overboard," she said as she looked him straight in the eye, and then let her irises slide to the left, where they saw him enter a rather shabby bar. Neji smirked lightly; she wasn't with ANBU for nothing.

"I promise," he said, rubbing her arm lightly before they both started towards another street together, intent upon looking at the vendors' stalls.

* * *

Later on that evening, Neji say at a table in the corner of the bar they had seen their target enter, sipping at a serving of sake and eyeing his surroundings. He lets his mind wander (just a bit, he's still working, after all) to TenTen; he left her back at their room, happily sewing new hidey-holes in her kimono for kunai. He thinks back to that afternoon; he liked (shinobi can admit to _liking _things, but that is all) the feel of her arm under his hand, even with the fabric between their skin. And he'd like to think that when she talked to him in such an intimate manner, there was a flicker of sincerity in her eyes. He knows he's being ridiculous, so when the man from that afternoon enters the bar, he's thankful for the distraction. 

He strides in arrogantly and orders more sake than three men should drink, before sweeping his glinting eyes over the room; no one (Neji isn't surprised, he looks like a fool) seems to want his company. When his eyes reach Neji's corner, he raises his hand slightly and beckons him with a slight smile on his face.

The man smirks as if to say, "No one can get enough of me," before striding over. He _thunks_ the sake bottle down unceremoniously between them and sits across from Neji.

"Need something?" he asks haughtily.

"I noticed your katana. My uncle is a dealer of weapons and he would be interested in some as beautiful as yours. Can you tell me the maker?" Neji asks as he sets his cup down and folds his arms—the very picture of attentiveness.

The man laughs, a grating sound. "My katana? No, I'll keep that information to myself. But tell your uncle he has good taste." Neji smiles apologetically and dips his head.

"I apologize for my rudeness. I am passing by and unused to the rhythm of things around here. And it has just occurred to me, what is your name?"

"Karasu, and yours?" he said, sizing up Neji with a critical eye. He was disgusted to note his eyes lingered a little too long on his hair, a mocking glint apparent in their watery depths.

"Yami." He paused to take a sip of sake, noting that Karasu did too. If you counted a long, slow drain of a quarter of the bottle a sip.

"Yami, huh? Sounds a bit feminine." Neji chuckled and tilted his head forward slightly.

"Yes, my wife teases me about it sometimes. Especially since I've let my hair grow out." Karasu's interest peaked at the mention of "his wife". He gave Neji a suggestive look.

"Your wife? That pretty thing with her hair in buns I saw you with this afternoon?"

* * *

TenTen busied herself in making all of her kimonos more weapons-friendly. She never wore kimonos on her own time, but it paid to be prepared when you were on a mission. 

Her mind wasn't so consumed with stitching a pouch for shuriken that she couldn't think of other things as she sat alone on the bed she and Neji shared (she refused to believe she let a small smile slip at the thought). "Other things" meaning Neji and that afternoon. She told herself that she shouldn't have felt so good when she called him husband, and that she shouldn't have mentally swooned when he rubbed her arm tenderly. It was all just a charade and in a few days time, they were going to go back to Konoha and back to their separate lives outside of missions.

She blew up some of her bangs with a frustrated exhale and put away her kimono and needle. She was going to go to wait for Neji to return and not think of anything but her assigned task. And she was not going to let herself worry about Neji getting in trouble and ending up dead in an alleyway somewhere (he was better than that. A whole lot better. She did not just think that).

* * *

When Neji got back to the inn, he was about ready to toss someone through a window. Not only had Karasu been _openly _interested in TenTen, he had asked "how she was"! That was utterly disgusting and he had been itching to pull out the tanto he'd hidden in his sleeve and stab the disgusting piece of crap in the face. _No one _talked about _his _partner that way. He did _not _just stress the word "his" because there wasn't a reason to. 

When he got to the room, however, he felt himself smile softly and relax. TenTen had obviously fallen asleep waiting for him, because her face was pillowed on her arms at the small table across the room from the bed.

He closed the door quietly and padded over to her after removing his sandals. He kneeled down at her side and inspected her face. Her lips were parted slightly in sleep and her breathing was calm and slow. Her hair was coming undone, and her cheeks were covered with wayward strands. He really wanted to kiss her nose. He did _not_ just think that, and he definitely wasn't thinking of kissing other things either.

"TenTen," he murmured as he gently shook one of her shoulders.

* * *

TenTen awoke to the feeling of a warm, somehow familiar, hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes reluctantly to see Neji kneeling in front of her, genjutsu deactivated and his spectral eyes focused on her. 

"Oh, Neji, gomen, I didn't mean to fall asleep." She sat up, regretting the feeling of his hand leaving her shoulder. She didn't reprimand herself for this because as far as she was concerned, she was half-asleep and not in her right mind anyways.

"That's alright. Don't worry about it. I'll tell you what I've learned tomorrow, you need to sleep." He offered her a hand and she took it. He helped her up and over to the bed, where she lay down after undoing her hair as he walked behind his screen to change. When he came back out, TenTen was already half asleep. He smiled and said goodnight before laying down himself.

* * *

The next morning, Neji explained to her what he'd learned over the breakfast of rice balls and miso provided by the inn. Leaving out the parts concerning her and Karasu's lecherousness, Neji explained how he had bragged about being sought out by "A notorious and kick-ass group that makes people afraid". TenTen commented that his linguistic skills weren't so kick-ass. 

While TenTen finished her rice balls, Neji tried hard not to imagine her sleeping face. He didn't want to think about her delicate hand (he knows, however, that said hand can slap the hell out of his face from personal experience) in his own larger one. Didn't want to regret being so in control of himself, because he really would have loved to undo her hair himself and tuck her in.

While Neji finished his miso, TenTen tried hard not to imagine the way his eyes looked at her gently (she knows that was fleeting, usually his eyes looked like those of an ice-cold egotist) when he woke her up. She didn't want to think about how nice his hand on her shoulder had been. Didn't want to think about how it was even nicer when he'd held her hand and helped her to bed. Didn't want to regret being so in control of herself, because she really would have loved giving him a kiss good night for helping.

* * *

The two spent the day discreetly tracking Karasu and mentally plotting the town (he really was a fool. He openly ogled women, and was boastful). TenTen and Neji decided that they would get rid of him tomorrow morning. It would be simple enough for Neji to return to the bar tonight and invite him to spar with him at an old sparring ground they had found on the outskirts of the poverty district. And from what Neji had gathered through observation and careful inquiry the previous night, Karasu hadn't been here long himself; he had no friends (not that anyone was trying very hard) or family, and would not be missed. Besides, TenTen could easily place the corpse near a section of sewer runoff; it would take weeks before anyone noticed that the smell was from a body and not the putrid water. 

Neji was glad TenTen was so cunning; she could exact revenge upon Karasu for his lewd comments even though she wasn't aware of them.

* * *

"Yami, a pleasure to see you again!" 

Karasu greeted his new "friend" enthusiastically when he sat down at the same table again that evening. This time, the soon-to-be-ex-lecher had arrived first, and was already bearing the tell-tale signs of an alcohol buzz when Neji sat down to join him.

"How was last night?" The hentai asked with a cat-like grin as he narrowed his eyes knowingly at Neji. Neji smiled mischievously as he raised his sake cup to his lips, taking a sip before replying.

"She likes new places," he stated in a deceptively innocent tone.

Karasu roared with laughter and hiccupped violently the next time he put the bottle in front of him to his thin, chapped lips. Neji was disgusted with himself, even though he knew he didn't mean it and nothing happened and TenTen would have said the same thing had she been in his place; it was a mission, after all.

After Karasu had downed more sake, Neji asked him to meet him at nine the next morning in the old sparring grounds.

"Whufor?" Karasu managed. Neji, though he hated to admit it, was mildly impressed he could manage anything in his intoxicated state.

"I simply wish to have a friendly spar before I leave town the morning after next. I would also like to see your katana in action." Karasu furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't like friendly spars. Friendly spars meant that you and your opponent had pretty much reached an agreement to not kill each other and pickpocket the corpse. Neji sensed this, so he placed a piece of bait in front of Karasu that he couldn't resist.

"My wife enjoys watching a good match, since she has been married to me for long enough to appreciate the fine art of sword wielding. She also asked after you last night, and she would like to come watch your expertise in action."

Karasu managed to swell with pride and leer at the same time.

* * *

"His only weapon is a katana, correct?" 

Neji glanced at TenTen from across the room. She was seated in front of the small table looking through her weapons scroll as she undid her hair for the evening. Neji was not staring at it avidly as he answered.

"Yes." She nodded and placed her finger down upon the kanji for kodachi. Neji was mildly surprised; TenTen was the type to appreciate irony, so it would have made more sense to choose a katana to fight with. Heaven knows _he _would have thoroughly enjoyed seeing his partner skewer that rat with his own weapon.

"Why use a kodachi? Your attack radius will decrease substantially," Neji asked quietly. He wasn't worried, per say; he knew TenTen's capabilities. So he knew that she could be injured and still defeat that rat easily. But he was apprehensive. Injury was always a risk, why tempt the possibility?

TenTen looked up at him, and he saw a hard glint in her eye. "You'll see,"

* * *

Karasu was waiting expectantly for the two of them the next morning. Neji was disgusted to note that he was wearing a new robe, and had shaved with some sort of overly-masculine soap before arriving. TenTen smiled shyly at him and he returned the gesture with a slow, lusty look. Neji almost wished she would pull out her kodachi and slice him to bits right then and there. 

"Shall we begin? I must admit that I will probably not be much of a challenge for you, as I've not had the time to train properly in quite a while." Neji said jovially (he really wanted to brush his teeth) as he stretched briefly. Karasu smirked and looked at TenTen.

"Been too busy doing other things?" Neji didn't think he could be more proud of TenTen right then; she blushed and ducked her head, covering her mouth with her kimono sleeve.

He didn't answer and instead unsheathed his own katana and took his stance. Karasu did the same, and Neji noted happily that his stance sucked.

He charged without warning and swung. It wasn't too bad or too over-done, but if he had so desired, Neji could have dealt him a killing blow immediately. Instead, he forced himself to gasp and dodge poorly as he examined Karasu's correction and footwork. He did it again, and Neji pretended to parry weakly before delivering a haphazard stab that Karasu easily dodged.

"You're right; you haven't had time to practice in a while," the other man laughed scornfully. He puffed out his chest and grinned at TenTen, who only smiled demurely before saying, "Come now, Yami, you're better than that!"

This continued for another ten minutes, until TenTen sent Neji a glance that let him know she was prepared to take him down now that she knew his strategies. He halted suddenly and pretended to pant as he wiped his brow.

"I think I should take a short rest now. Suki, bring me that water canteen and chat with our honorable swordsman here while I regroup." TenTen smiled brightly and breezed over, handing Neji a canteen before turning to Karasu and looking up at him with admiring eyes. He leered down at her and reached out to grasp her chin with his rough right hand.

Neji smirked behind the rim of the canteen.

TenTen smiled up at him as she reached into the sleeve of her opposite arm with each hand and withdrew two kodachi so swiftly that Karasu wasn't even aware of it until he found his new robe sliced down the front and TenTen three yards away from him with a cold look on her face.

"What the hell?!" he shouted in surprise as his robe fell open. He looked at TenTen, then at Neji, and saw the twin smirks. He snarled as he reached for his sword and charged forward.

Neji activated his Byakugan and waited. It was fairly useless, however; Tsunade had expected they'd dispatch of him in the forest, but here was private enough, and he needn't have worried about TenTen being unaware of an attack.

She flawlessly avoided each swing and countered by slicing only Karasu's clothes, infuriating him further.

"You bitch! You're here to get rid of me, aren't you?" the man snarled as a sleeve slid from his shoulder.

"How did you ever guess?" TenTen replied in an icy tone, deftly avoiding a strike and hitting him in the ribs with one of the hilts of her swords.

Neji was wondering why she wasn't slicing him to bits at this moment until he realized that she'd darted behind him. She deftly delivered a chop to the base of his skull with a hilt, and there was a sickening snap as his spine was broken at its weakest point. The body fell limply to the ground. She didn't even falter in her movements as she bent down and broke his left ankle before placing a rock near it and arranging his head as if he had fallen. She looked at Neji with a grim smirk on her face.

"This way, murder isn't even suspected. Everyone knows that you shouldn't train alone," she said as she sheathed her kodachi and removed Karasu's robe. Under it, there was a lighter version. She tossed the ruined one into the sewer runoff and watched it whoosh away.

Neji sheathed his own katana again and inspected the ground. The footprints were so distorted you couldn't tell if there had been one or one hundred people through this place. After scanning the area to make sure they hadn't been spied upon, he deactivated his Byakugan and turned to leave, TenTen falling instep with him.

* * *

TenTen changed out of her now-dusty kimono while Neji sat on the bed. He felt lighter, now that Karasu was gone. He knew that this wasn't normal; that it wasn't good to feel gratified that a criminal was dead simply because now he couldn't disrespect his teammate in such a way anymore. Said teammate interrupted his thoughts a moment later. 

"Neji, we don't leave until tomorrow morning, and the inn keeper's wife told me there is a street fair later on this evening. Want to go with me?" Neji looked up and saw her step out from behind the screen in the same pale lavender kimono she'd worn three nights ago.

"I know you're not keen on anything that forces you to have fun," TenTen continued, grinning like a Cheshire cat at his scowl "But I think it would be nice to get out for awhile and not have to keep tabs on that nuisance. Please?" She finished off, her voice softening almost imperceptibly at the last word.

Neji considered this for a moment; street fair, TenTen, night, no worries. It sounded innocent enough. He nodded at his teammate, and her grin was dazzling.

* * *

They wandered through the streets together. It was already dark out, but paper lanterns strung across the overhangs of houses and shops kept the fair well-illuminated. Children and adults scurried about, eating, purchasing items from the vendors, and talking. Both TenTen and Neji munched on sweet _chichi dango _to finish off their meal, walking in a comfortable silence. As Neji licked the last of the sticky substance off of the skewer, TenTen pointed to trash can at the entrance of a side street fifteen feet away. 

They both approached it and tossed their skewers in before turning to look at each other.

"What do you want to do?" TenTen asked Neji. He shrugged and looked around; there were booths with games, food, animals, books, and musical instruments. He wasn't really picky about what they did as long as it wasn't stupid.

"I've never been to one of these, you pick." He said in a monotone. TenTen glanced around before pointing at a group of troubadours a little ways down the street. They were all dressed in plain travelers robes and setting up instruments in a circle around a teenage girl in a bright green and yellow kimono.

TenTen grabbed Neji's elbow and dragged him with her as she hurried to stand close to the show. The music was slow and didn't seem to be Japanese-themed. And when the girl began to sing, he knew it wasn't.

_Bei fang you jia ren_

_Jue shi er du li_

_Yi gu qing ren guo_

_Ning bu zhi_

_Qing cheng yu qing guo_

_Jia ren nan zai de_

"What is she singing?" Neji asked while leaning closer so he whispered directly into TenTen's ear. He felt her shiver at the contact and though _TenTen doesn't shiver like that, she's always on guard. _She turned to him, tilting her head up to look him in the eye as she spoke.

"It's Chinese; called "The Beauty Song." And as the girl went on to sing the lyrics a second time, TenTen leaned up and forward to whisper the words in Japanese into Neji's ear.

_An extraordinary beauty in the North_

_The most beautiful being of the world_

_From her first glance the city bows before her_

_From her second glance the empire falls into ruins_

_But there isn't such an empire or a city_

_That we can love more than this beauty_

This time, he shivered. TenTen smiled and turned back to clap for the performers. He looked at her smiling face and found himself thinking _If I weren't a shinobi…_

TenTen turned back to him. "If you weren't a shinobi, what would you do?"

He hadn't realized he'd spoken aloud. The part of him that was reasonable and in-control and _shinobi _told him he should tell her she hadn't heard that and pretend that it didn't happen. But the part of him that was so often pushed aside screamed at him to notice her eyes held a curious glint in them; and a pleading one.

_Just for one night…_

Neji chose to listen to the small part of him that he always ignored.

Those late nights when he'd entertained the fantasy of kissing TenTen, he'd always imagined that it would be somewhat forceful, because he knew he'd only ever give in to that whim under extreme circumstances. But he surprised himself when he bent his head and pressed their lips gently together, hands on the sides of her face.

* * *

When TenTen heard Neji murmur those words, she knew she wasn't going to waste this opportunity. She had been itching to know what could be between them for so long, had spent too many nights awake wondering if she was in love with someone who didn't care. 

So she asked him; if he wasn't a shinobi, what would he do? She hoped that he could see she wanted this. She hoped that if he felt the same way, he would know that it was here and now because this might never happen again.

And she could have cried in happiness when he gave her the sweetest kiss she ever thought imaginable as his answer.

* * *

TenTen and Neji stood there for a full minute, hands on each other's faces, before they broke apart by unvoiced agreement. There were people milling about everywhere, and the performance was over; leaving them standing in the middle of the street. TenTen looked at Neji's genjutsu-brown eyes and lightly took one of his hands in hers. He held it firmly and they walked further down the street. 

_Just this once, I can be with you…_

Right now, Neji and TenTen weren't shinobi; they were a married couple out enjoying themselves. Nobody had to know that this was borderline illegal conduct and that tomorrow they would leave back to Konoha and pretend this never happened.

Neji would find himself smiling and laughing with TenTen. TenTen leaned into him and blushed a few times. A nice elderly woman gave her lavender chopsticks to match her kimono and Neji gently undid her two buns and put them into one with the gift.

_Just this one night I can treat you like you are mine…_

At ten-thirty at night, they found themselves walking arm-in-arm back into the inn, laughing about something-or-other as they passed the inn-keeper and his wife. They bid them a friendly goodnight and practically floated into their room. Neji slid the door shut and threw off his sandals, TenTen copying. He turned around and she pulled him in for their second kiss.

_Just this one night I can kiss you without regret…_

This one was more forceful, but nonetheless enjoyable. TenTen clutched Neji's shoulders and he gripped her waist. TenTen decided that Neji tasted like the _dango _they had eaten and something indescribable; masculine and tangy. He decided that she also tasted of their dessert, and also like spice; cinnamon, or something equally potent but sweet.

They broke apart for air and kept their foreheads touching; unwilling to let it stop. Neji had let the genjutsu go, and TenTen stared at his eyes; for once, not masking his innermost thoughts. TenTen's eyes were also unguarded; almost overwhelming they were so full of…everything.

Neji began to kiss every part of her face, wanting to memorize every contour and texture. TenTen returned by kissing his jaw line and rejoicing in the fact that he didn't use disgusting aftershave. She reached around his ribs and tugged his hair free so she could run her fingers through it. Neji deftly pulled the chopsticks out and let them clatter to the floor behind her. It was dark in their room because they hadnt lit any lamps, but he doesn't have any trouble backing her up until they fall into a sitting position on the bed.

They know that if they don't stop soon, it's going to be more than kissing very soon. Shinobi (they aren't shinobi now, but they realize they will be in the morning) lead a life full of regret; they don't want this to be one of them. Both of them are almost certain that if it were to go further , it wouldn't be considered as regret to them, but their not willing to take the chance it might.

So, by another unvoiced agreement, the kiss lightens. It becomes slow, and continues slowing down until their lips are closed and only touching softly. Their eyes open carefully, and they lean away gently, but their hands remain.

_Just this once, I'll touch your face without fearing it will disappear under my fingers…_

Softly, as if not to break each other, they let their finger tips wander over each other's eyes, noses, cheeks, jaws, and lips. It's innocent and only meant to let the other know how much this means to them.

Eventually, their movements slow and cease; TenTen places her hands in her lap, Neji's lay on the bed in front of him. He picks them up again, though. He reaches behind TenTen to gently tug the comforter down the futon. He stands and picks her up carefully; one hand supporting her shoulders and the other at the bend of her legs. He lays her in the middle of the bed before crawling in next to her and covering them with the comforter.

TenTen knows his intentions are innocent, so she lets herself be tucked in. After he lays his arm back down, she gives in and scoots forward enough so that she can lay her hands on his chest and bury her face in the crook of his neck like a child in need of comfort would. She feels one of his arms drape over her waist and rub her back lazily as he places a small kiss goodnight on her forehead.

They can both feel themselves drifting off to sleep. It comes as a surprise; they always expected that sleep would be impossible after something as…cataclysmic as that occuring. But they are both perfectly fine with just feeling comfortable enough to sleep in each other's arms at this point.

The only thing that keeps them awake for a few moments longer is the knowledge that this is how lovers would act with each other; falling asleep in each other's arms. But they aren't lovers, because they won't tell each other what they really feel because it will be too painful when morning comes, bringing back the shinobi in both of them.

* * *

When they get back to Konoha three days later and Tsunade asks how the mission went as they turn in their reports, they both tell her that there were no unforeseen complications and everything went exactly as it should have.

* * *

Yeah, that was sort of angsty. I don't know whether I should write a follow-up one-shot or not, so any comments or ideas are appreciated. I apologize for those of you that are screaming at me right now, but: NO CITRUS FOR YOU!! I swear, even just typing this up I was wondering whether I was a total perv or not. 


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